The Monk and the Tourists

Let me start with a story about Jane and Bob, who each travelled to Tibet to meet a
Monk.
 
Jane was in her mid-30s and ran her own marketing consultancy business, all whilst
being a wife and mother. Bob, meanwhile, was in his mid-50s and working as a
manager in the retail sector, not leaving much time for his family, friends or even
himself. These individuals did not know each other yet, however their paths were
soon to cross. They were both suffering from stress due to their respective work and
home lives. They both sought a solution and felt that they had to travel in order to
do so. They found themselves searching the internet, each identifying that Tibet may
have the answers for them. So, they both booked their own flights.
 
Jane and Bob landed in Kathmandu and then took a connecting flight to Lhasa
Gonggar international airport in Tibet. Jane and Bob later bumped into each other on
a train and, as they were in the same carriage, they struck up a conversation. They
talked for hours about how they had both lived stressful lives and how they were
hoping that Tibet could provide some answers and peace for them. They realised
that they were both staying at the same hotel but on different floors. Jane and Bob
met early for breakfast the next day and realised that they had the same habit of
leaving their mobile phone on the table just in case an important call, text or email
came in. They began to realise that they were quite similar.
   
They decided to explore the sights and along the way they came across an elderly
woman at the local bazaar who held a handwritten sign that read:

“The answer you seek is closer than you think. He is waiting for you.” An arrow was
pointing from the woman’s sign in the direction of a mountain some miles away.
“Who is waiting for us?” Jane and Bob both asked. “The monk that you seek is
waiting for you,” the woman replied, beckoning  them to climb the mountain with
her warm, broad smile.
 
Jane and Bob looked at each other with surprise and excitement, realising that this
was the reason they had come all this way. This could be the same wise monk that
they had read about in the tourist books and stories of old. This monk must be close
to 100 years old by now!
 
As they gazed up at the mountain, Jane and Bob noticed a temple perched near the
top with some smoke billowing out of its chimney. The temple was pulling them
towards it like a magnet. Later that day they travelled by jeep to where the temple
was situated. They were keen to meet this wise monk, so they made haste to the
temple with the help of some local guides. They were excited to meet the monk who was
reputed to be the wisest in Tibet; maybe he could provide the answers they
sought.     

Jane and Bob climbed the 3000 steps to the temple with anticipation as they did not
know what to expect. Maybe the monk sat on a golden thrown surrounded by many
worshipers. This was not the case however, as they soon found the monk, sitting
silently with his prayer beads in his hands and meditating under a tree.

Jane and Bob slowly approached the tree, trying not to disturb the monk whilst taking
photographs with their mobile phones. The monk noticed their presence and asked
them to join him for tea.
 
“Why have you travelled so far and abandoned your families?” the monk asked. Jane
and Bob paused for a few seconds, rather shocked by this monk’s directness. They
both replied that they had come to seek peace and enlightenment so that they could
reduce the stress and worries they were both facing. The monk then started to pour
tea to the top of their cups, asking them if that was enough. They both replied “Yes,”
but the monk kept pouring until the tea was overflowing. “Stop! It’s overflowing! It’s
too much!” Jane and Bob exclaimed. “Yes,” the monk replied, "They are overflowing,
just like your lives, which are full of stress. You must empty the cup and allow
knowledge and peace to enter your hearts and mind.”
 
“What do you mean?” Jane and Bob asked, to which the monk replied with the
following:
 
“When is enough, enough? The reason you are so stressed is because you are trying
to fill too much into this cup. If you keep adding more problems and more stress,
how will you find the time to rest your mind, be calm and give back to your family
and friends? Your cup is full of feelings and emotions which are raging like a storm.
You must learn to calm this storm and take care of this cup before it breaks. Did you
not notice the beauty on your journey here? Did you not notice the deer giving birth
to its young? Did you not notice the young children begging outside the hotel as you
rushed into the bazaar? Did you not notice the beautiful blue lake and the rivers that
ran down the side of the mountain? Did you smell the flowers and listen to the
sound of nature along the way? You missed most of these beautiful sights because
you were too eager to achieve your next task and meet me. Just like you are rushing
to do all your jobs in your to-do list, you forget to enjoy the journey. Be more like
the majestic eagle that soars in the sky above us. The eagle flies with ease by using
the fast-flowing currents in the air that Mother Nature provides to keep it above all
its troubles.”
 
Jane and Bob felt that they had been struck by lightning after hearing these
profound words. They soon began to realise that the monk's teacup represented
their lives, and by continually filling them up with stress, they were doing their
health and minds a great deal of harm. Stress was affecting their families and they
were spending less and less time with them. Even when they did spend time with
family, it was not quality time as arguments (for example, about money) would arise
and they would still be thinking about work. Even after vacations, the stress and
problems soon came back, with things returning to how they were before. Jane and
Bob realised that they were both reaching burn-out points within their lives.
 
Jane and Bob decided that things had to change. They both spent a few more days
with the monk and started to appreciate the good things in their lives, which in turn
made them calmer. They both travelled back home and kept in touch to see how
each was coping with reducing their respective stresses. Could they create new
habits and change their lives for the better before the storm broke their teacup?
 
You may recognise some of the same stresses and worries that Jane and Bob
experienced. The stories in this book will help you—and all the Janes and Bobs out
there—learn new ways to cope with stress. All you need is an open mind.
 
 
 
10 Steps to Unleash Your Confidence:
1.  Courage: Find the courage to step outside your comfort zone and embrace
challenges. Confidence thrives on action, not hesitation.
2.  Overcome Negativity: Silence the inner critic! Learn to identify and reframe
negative thoughts that hold you back.
3.  Embrace Your Feelings: Don't shy away from your emotions. Acknowledge
your feelings, both positive and negative, and use them to fuel your journey.
4.  Find Inspiration: Seek out role models and stories that inspire you. Let their
journeys ignite your own passion and determination.
5.  Fuel Your Determination: Identify your goals and cultivate unwavering
determination to achieve them. This unwavering spirit is the foundation of
self-belief.
6.  Build Self-Esteem: Practice self-compassion and celebrate your
achievements, big and small. A strong sense of self-worth is essential for
lasting confidence.
7.  Embrace the Necessity of Growth: View setbacks and challenges as
opportunities for learning and growth. Every hurdle overcome strengthens
your confidence muscle.
8.  Sharpen Your Communication: Effective communication skills allow you to
express yourself clearly and confidently, both in personal and professional
settings.
9.  Cultivate Enthusiasm: Express genuine enthusiasm for life and your
pursuits. This contagious energy will inspire both yourself and those around
you.
10.  Find Your Enthusiasm: If you're struggling to find your spark, explore new 
experiences and activities. Discover what ignites your passion and fuels your 
enthusiasm.